There are so many things I want to achieve in my lifetime that it seems I don’t have enough hours in the day.
I’m still pursuing my leads in the entertainment industry and all I can do is continue to apply and send out my information in hopes that I’ll eventually get an audition.
Entertaining has always been my passion, and I used to think in the past that I would never be able to pursue it.
It’s interesting because growing up I never thought I could do whatever I wanted. I just assumed because I was wearing a headscarf no one would even give me a chance.
So far, I’ve been happy to see some progress. I was accepted to two different talent agencies in Chicago, and that is something I never thought would ever happen. I’ve had a few acting gigs but nothing major. However, I was paid, so it really felt nice to be recognized as a professional.
Every now and then I waver a bit. I succumb to those voice of doubt in my head. But then I shake those negative thoughts off and continue to go forward. People say you really have to work hard and dedicate your time 24/7 to marketing yourself. In the past I didn’t believe enough in myself, but now I know I can do things and I believe it.
It’s funny because I was watching American Idol the other night and Simon was telling the contestant, “You have a good voice, stop thinking you’re not as good as everybody else.” And that message truly hit home. For years I would try to find people to sing with me because I was too scared to sing alone in front of a crowd. I also never had confidence in my singing abilities even though I know I can sing. For some reason as soon as I get in front of an audience it’s like my throat closes up and I sound like a screeching cat or something.
Part of my goals in breaking out of that shell and showing my true self, is to start posting some videos of my performances. I think I’ll do some monologues and some acapella songs and just take it from there.
Maybe through this exploration I can improve upon my skills and get used to letting other people see another side of me.
[...] Ever since I can remember I’ve loved to perform in front of folks, but as I grew older I started to doubt myself and become more aware of the fact that I cared a lot about what other people thought of me. I get extremely anxious before I sing in front of people, but I want to change that. [...]